Johnny Manziel to be Sued for $25 Million

In a weird turn of events a lawsuit has been filed that seeks a restraining order and $25 million from Johnnny Football for sexual harassment.  While most sexual harassment cases need to taken very seriously, rape and sexual harassment are not things to joke about, this is obviously some crazy bullshit.  First off, Johnny Fucking Football has no need to sexually harass anybody, man can grab any puss he wants on earth.  Secondly, after reading the allegations, which repeatedly make reference to Johnny calling his own enormous penis small, I can safely say there is no possible way this was him.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, Johnny Football has a donkey dick and there's no way around that.

The suit was filed by someone going by the name Samantha Schacher.   The confusing thing about that is that Schacher is a CNN contributor and the address on the lawsuit is CNN's headquarters in Atlanta.  So it is very likely that this was some sort of pathetic joke and no one is laughing.  Here are some highlights from the lawsuit.

"Manziel told me if I don't want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he'll be Long John Silvers."

"Johnny Manziel refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage and told me good things come from small packages."

"Johnny Manziel said he Skyes [sic] with Judereon Clowney [sic] in South Carolina, and Clowney sent Manziel a Pic of is penis which was 9 inches, and Manziel showed it to me on Skype and asked me if I could handle that monster."

"Manziel sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on "It's a Small World" ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down and unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles his penis to the music."

I mean clearly just some class A horseshit.  People are always gonna come for people at the top and obviously Johnny is the top of the top.

Here's the entire suit if you care to read it.

Samantha Schacher v Johnny Manziel

This is what Johnny's lawyer has to say about this nonsense.

This joke "lawsuit" is obviously 1000000% fake and/ or frivolous. Embarrassing I even have say this after reading the nonsense.
— Erik Burkhardt (@ErikBurkhardt) May 23, 2014