#AskEmmert

The last time you cut your arm did you immediately pour salt in it?  Have you ever walked down a dark alley, late at night, hoping to get mugged?  Have you ever worn a racy outfit and be "asking for it" as they say in Brazil? Well Mark Emmert, the genius President of the National Collegiate Asshole Association, took to twitter today with the hashtag #AskEmmert.  What a good way for constructive criticism and feedback! You can get all of the productive comments from impassioned fans and respond to them in a respectful and cordial fashion!

Wrong.  Very, fucking, wrong.  Mark Emmert, you are an absolute idiot.  I mean the man is a glutton for punishment.  What good could possibly have come from this? Literally none.  That would be the correct answer.  After unveiling an idiotic feeding program for ONLY D1 ATHLETES he made a comment that said, "Athletes are taking seats from paying students."  Unbelievable.  I've never seen someone more out of touch with reality.  I know I blogged the other day about Ryan Howard being out of touch, but I mean this is just getting embarrassing.

I don't really think I need to say anything else.  I'll just let the best of twitter say it for me.

#askemmert I run a non-profit, where can we apply to get free labor like you do?
— Jayme (@jaymelee1) April 18, 2014

#askemmert Do you think slave owners would have prolonged slavery just a bit longer if they called it "amateurism"?
— Kristopher Robben (@Phaetonv2) April 18, 2014

#askemmert how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck profited off of the work of unpaid labor under the guide of amateurism?
— Red Cup Rebellion (@RedCupRebellion) April 18, 2014

#askemmert Remember when you weren't a douche? I don't
— S Clay (@BigClaymaker) April 18, 2014

#AskEmmert do you ever cup and smell your farts
— 814ToMyCity (@mattcooper3) April 18, 2014

The National Collegiate Asshole Association (NCAA)

I'm going to start this blog by sarcastically clapping.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way I'm going to spend the next several hundred characters berating the NCAA.  All of the news flying around the NCAA lately has been about the unionization of Northwestern's football team (huge news).  This, once again, sparked the pay-for-play debate.  While there are valid points on both sides (I would like to admit that I am against paying collegiate athletes) the NCAA has blundered through this entire process.  Initially they said there was no way that collegiate "student-athletes" would be paid for their services.  Then after several of the more outspoken pro-pay advocates (see Jay Bilas' twitter account) they began to take some serious heat.  Then there was the Grambling State debacle which gave bad publicity to the NCAA for not taking care of their players.

Most recently the Northwestern case has taken this argument to a whole other level.  Now the judicial system is involved and is giving credence to the pay-for-play argument.  So how does the NCAA respond? By giving the players unlimited food and snacks.  Well golly, that'll just solve everything.  The NCAA really knows how to take care of their problems.  Instead of giving them what they want and are asking for they decided to simply feed their players properly and hope that solves all their issues. Wait what's that?  You said that only D1 athletes are allowed free food?  Well that's confusing because it seems that the NCAA is frequently pushing the "I Chose Division 2" motto around.  This seems pretty contradictory, and in fact quite hypocritical, of the NCAA.  And just think, at one point I wanted to be a D2 athlete.  Well I'm very glad I'm not now.  I can go home to cosmic brownies in my closet and wash them down with as many cold glasses of milk as I want.

What a Game

What a game.  Trading buckets down the stretch, tough plays both ways, the officials didn't end the game (Ari-cough-zona).  Can't remember watching a better game in recent history.  Hard fought for sure, got to feel bad for Michigan who gave it their best shot.  Those 132 offensive rebounds they grabbed on their last possession were man's work.  Then Levert nearly swatted the game winner right out of A(unimportant) Harrison's hands.

More importantly though let's look at what the rest of the field looks like.  According to ESPN only 612 brackets had the correct final four out of 11 million plus.  That's pretty insane when you stop to think about it.  What makes it even more incredible is the fact that if you told anyone that these would be the four teams no one would be that surprised.  They're all just teams that definitely could have made it, but probably wouldn't because they're underachieving freeloaders.  Then all of a sudden Shabbaz Kemba Napier has the tournament of his life and Kentucky looks like a bunch of seasoned vets.  Wisconsin finally has enough offense to look like a real basketball team and I mean no one is surprised that Florida is here.

Speaking of which, Florida looks very impressive.  As admirable as Kentucky, UCONN and Wisconsin's runs have been, it almost has the feel that one team has the dick and the others are just happy to be where they are.  That Florida defense looks like a brick wall.  Just can't see them losing to anyone not here, not there, not anywhere.