J-Pizzle Going Pro

Jabari Parker, as expected, is moving on to the NBA after one season at Duke.

Parker announced his decision Thursday in an article for Sports Illustrated.

"Ultimately, I boiled my decision down to two simple questions," Parker wrote:

"Which environment — college or the NBA — offers me the best opportunity to grow as a basketball player?

"Which environment — college or the NBA — offers me the best opportunity to grow and develop off the court?"

The answer to both questions is undeniably the NBA." - USATODAY.COM

Oh boy.  Well we've all been waiting on pins and needles for the announcement and it's finally come. Jabari Parker, one of the elite talents, and in my unbiased opinion, my favorite player on Earth is going pro.  He did it perfectly too, didn't declare too early and make it look like he couldn't wait to leave and get his money, didn't wait too long and make it look like he wasn't committed to the NBA, just waited until he made his decision and went for it.  I mean the guy has got to have a dick the size of India.  Christ, it might even be as big as China, who knows?  What I do know is that he has supreme talent, a big body, and apparently a good head on his shoulders.  Guy is gonna light up the NBA, no doubt about it.  I think I'll cry tears of joy if the Sixers draft him.

New Song: Draft Day - Drake

Well God damn.  If there's one thing I love more than artichokes dipped in melted butter it's when music and sports figures hang out/are besties.  This whole Drake adopting the young studs thing makes me pretty hard not gonna lie.  Drizzy Drake just drips some nastiness all over everyone.

Now for the seriousness, let's rank each of these dudes in their chosen profession.  We'll start with Drake.  While Drake has conquered the craft of soft, almost r&b type rapping he still falls short of some of the others in his profession.  Just as a prelude this is a power ranking of active rappers, so obviously 'Pac and Biggie will be excluded from the list.  On top of the game right now has to be King Kendrick.  Kendrick Lamar.  Kendrick Lamar.  Kendrick Lamar.  Literally every word that he spits drips with gold.  Can't wait for his album to come out this year.  Drake could easily fall second, but I just can't bring myself to do it (sorry Cody).  J. Cole has to go here.  Every song on Born Sinner captured my attention.  I just can't say the same about Nothing was the Same.  Drake is good, he's probably third, but I don't think he's got the crown right now.

Next is Johnny because he's got the most media attention right now.  Dude just had his pro day and came out swingin some dick around.  When you're listening to A$AP Ferg while tossing a football around on a dime I immediately respect you more.  I honestly think he's the best quarterback in this draft.  He's more mobile than Teddy, better with the rock in his hand than Bortles and the other point men aren't even in the same class as Johnny.  Hopefully he goes to a good situation and is able to succeed.  Really none of the teams at the top of the draft this year are too bad.  Houston is a solid team, the rams don't have that many holes, the Jags got a lot better this offseason, any of those places will work for him.

Finally we can move on to Andrew 'Wiggle It' Wiggins.  The guy can ball.  Decent court vision, he can score as witnessed by the 41 he threw up against West Virginia.  Only concern here is that he doesn't have the broad shoulders that Lebron has and I'm not talking about his physical shoulders.  He just doesn't seem like he's ready to be the leader of a team and carry them to wins they don't deserve.  Lebron looked ready in high school. Wiggins may develop that, but I'd be wary if I were an NBA team.  Still clearly the best prospect in this years draft, but I think Jabari is more NBA ready.  Just another humble opinion from the Commish.

Update: Sorry to everyone who already looked at this and missed out.  Here's the link to download the song Draft Day. I had to do it for ya.

https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/142630619/download?client_id=0f8fdbbaa21a9bd18210986a7dc2d72c

What a Game

What a game.  Trading buckets down the stretch, tough plays both ways, the officials didn't end the game (Ari-cough-zona).  Can't remember watching a better game in recent history.  Hard fought for sure, got to feel bad for Michigan who gave it their best shot.  Those 132 offensive rebounds they grabbed on their last possession were man's work.  Then Levert nearly swatted the game winner right out of A(unimportant) Harrison's hands.

More importantly though let's look at what the rest of the field looks like.  According to ESPN only 612 brackets had the correct final four out of 11 million plus.  That's pretty insane when you stop to think about it.  What makes it even more incredible is the fact that if you told anyone that these would be the four teams no one would be that surprised.  They're all just teams that definitely could have made it, but probably wouldn't because they're underachieving freeloaders.  Then all of a sudden Shabbaz Kemba Napier has the tournament of his life and Kentucky looks like a bunch of seasoned vets.  Wisconsin finally has enough offense to look like a real basketball team and I mean no one is surprised that Florida is here.

Speaking of which, Florida looks very impressive.  As admirable as Kentucky, UCONN and Wisconsin's runs have been, it almost has the feel that one team has the dick and the others are just happy to be where they are.  That Florida defense looks like a brick wall.  Just can't see them losing to anyone not here, not there, not anywhere.

Is UConn winning tomorrow night the easiest pick in history?

So UConn is playing Michigan State tomorrow night in the world famous Madison Square Garden, which is conveniently located just 2 and a half hours from Storrs, Connecticut.  UConn, a former Big East powerhouse, has treated their fans to countless unforgettable memories at the Garden throughout the past 30-plus years.  Playing in the garden is considered to be the pinnacle of UConn basketball every year.
2014 is the first time UConn has not played their conference tournament at the Garden since the end of the 1982-'83 season.
Ever since they left the Big East to joined the newly created American Athletic Conference, Husky fans have been craving some old time basketball.  Luckily, when the bracket was announced, they found themselves just two wins from being able to play at the Garden once again.
After handling an underrated St. Joe's team and upsetting number 2 seed Villanova, husky fans saw their wish come true.
The desire for Connecticut fans to see their team play at the world's most famous venue have driven ticket prices to an outrageous $609 for nose bleeds.  To put these prices into perspective, nose bleeds to see the 2013 Final Four and championship games started at $264 per seat.
These high prices have resulted in bringing only the richest, most loyal UConn fans to the Big Apple.  These fans work stressful jobs and have big time wallets.  The only prescription for them is heading to the Big Apple to spend some money, do some very forgettable things and cheer on their boys.
Now what does this have to do with UConn being a lock for tomorrow's game?  EVERYTHING.
College basketball has proven time and time again that home court advantage has everything to do with the outcome of games (I'm not going to justify this, just because I don't have to...It's true).  Obviously the Garden isn't the home of husky basketball, but it sure has more historic moment than anywhere they have played.
So these fans all plan on getting absolutely shit faced for their weekend away with their class of '82 buddies.  The place is just going to be electric.  UConn had no business in beating a much better Iowa State team, but these drunk fucks powered them to the W.
The fans know that Michigan State is one of the best teams left, and they know what it is going to take for Shabazz and company to win again.  Beer, yelling, throwing up, and some more beer.  There is just no way the fans are going to let the ugliest center in sports and Tom Fucking Izzo beat them.
I can't wait to watch the game tomorrow night, but I know it's going to be a waste of time.  Now go out and make some bets.