Texas Does it Big. Again

As the title says everything is bigger down in Texas. On Monday, the Houston Texans made sure the rest of the league knew of that as they invited both Johnny Manziel and Jadeveon Clowney to visit the Texans complex.

Ballsy move? Some would say so. By inviting both draft prospects on the same day essentially Houston made a statement: Sell yourself to us. 

Lets picture the arrival both guys made to Houston on Monday. I’m sure Clowney was escorted in by those same South Carolina cops who let him slide with a speeding ticket awhile back, and Johnny probably took daddy’s benz out of the garage for a quick spin down the road to the Texans complex.

I am sure that, new head coach, Bill O'brien was anxious to meet both of these individuals. For starters, Clowney is feared by pretty much everyone on the opposing side of the line of scrimmage during a football game. So, With O'brien being an offensive guy, what better scenario than to not have to prepare for him on game day. On the other side of things, I am sure ol’ Bill wouldn’t be being against having Johnny Football run his offense on any given Sunday, even after many reports saying that he “doesn’t believe his playing style would fit his offensive scheme”.  After all this is the same Bill O'brien who said he would lead Penn State to a National Championship in the future, but we all know how that ended up.

But hey, who knows how it all went down in Houston on Monday. Guess we will have to wait and see who won over the Texans organization more. My money is on Johnny, cause who doesn’t love some Johnny Football, right Jon Gruden?. #paperchasin’ #nosoap

Miami Manmillers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcjJmn6PpxU

Friends, this is a sad sad day for my fellow colleague, Mr. Cody Manmiller.  Just a few hours ago, his favorite football team this side of Mars were exposed like no other.

The team was taped while their coaches unveiled the team's new uniforms for the 2014 season. Proceeding the unveiling, the entire team's inner 14 year-old girl came screaming out.  Pretty sure that at one point the lens had to have cracked.

I mean how does a team expect to compete with the national champs after seeing themselves do this.  It's quite pathetic.  I mean Jameis Winton just took a night of from mid-season D-1 baseball, and sexting some smokes, to take part in the Spring Football game.  All this while his little sisters in Miami are losing their shit thinking their unis are like Miley Cyrus.

There are very few times when a man, let alone an entire room of football players, can act like they are attending a Miley concert.  I can assure you, receiving new uniforms is not one of those times.

Well, to the Canes having another Mildly disappointing year, while watching the Noles impress, good luck, and grow a pair.

PS-  At least the unis look pretty cool

From One Hall of Famer to Another

"If Roger Staubach were on the clock with the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft, there's no doubt in his mind that he'd take quarterback Johnny Manziel over defensive end Jadeveon Clowney.

The Pro Football Hall of Famer, who was taken as a 10th round future pick in the 1964 draft by the Dallas Cowboys, thinks Manziel will have the same impact as a certain Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

"I think Manziel is a Russell Wilson-type player," Staubach said Wednesday on the NFL Network. "He doesn't have the height, (but) he has a strong arm and he throws with accuracy.

"... I just think there's something about this kid - the quickness. Today in the league, the quarterbacks can fly; we weren't allowed to do that. I think Manziel is going to be a valuable player in the NFL."

The Houston Texans have the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft, which will be held May 8-10."  - ESPN

Well if that ain't the darndest thing.  A hall of famer recognizing hall of fame talent.  Like I have tried to impress upon everyone on earth, Johnny Manziel has enormous penis.  And also an enormous amount of talent.  But mostly the penis part.  He will be good in the NFL.  While other subpar fame seeking succubuses (I'm staring directly into your soul A.J. McDouche) are making bullshit reality shows with their hot ass fiancé, Johnny is out there grinding to be the best.  The man works hard and then enjoys playing the game when he is out there.  No one ever called him a bad teammate that I'm aware of and no one said he didn't work hard.  All I've ever heard is complaints about him being a cocky dick on the football field.  Well guess what? When you're the best you can do shit like that.  Like my Momma always told me, they're just jealous Johnny, they're just jealous.  

New Song: Draft Day - Drake

Well God damn.  If there's one thing I love more than artichokes dipped in melted butter it's when music and sports figures hang out/are besties.  This whole Drake adopting the young studs thing makes me pretty hard not gonna lie.  Drizzy Drake just drips some nastiness all over everyone.

Now for the seriousness, let's rank each of these dudes in their chosen profession.  We'll start with Drake.  While Drake has conquered the craft of soft, almost r&b type rapping he still falls short of some of the others in his profession.  Just as a prelude this is a power ranking of active rappers, so obviously 'Pac and Biggie will be excluded from the list.  On top of the game right now has to be King Kendrick.  Kendrick Lamar.  Kendrick Lamar.  Kendrick Lamar.  Literally every word that he spits drips with gold.  Can't wait for his album to come out this year.  Drake could easily fall second, but I just can't bring myself to do it (sorry Cody).  J. Cole has to go here.  Every song on Born Sinner captured my attention.  I just can't say the same about Nothing was the Same.  Drake is good, he's probably third, but I don't think he's got the crown right now.

Next is Johnny because he's got the most media attention right now.  Dude just had his pro day and came out swingin some dick around.  When you're listening to A$AP Ferg while tossing a football around on a dime I immediately respect you more.  I honestly think he's the best quarterback in this draft.  He's more mobile than Teddy, better with the rock in his hand than Bortles and the other point men aren't even in the same class as Johnny.  Hopefully he goes to a good situation and is able to succeed.  Really none of the teams at the top of the draft this year are too bad.  Houston is a solid team, the rams don't have that many holes, the Jags got a lot better this offseason, any of those places will work for him.

Finally we can move on to Andrew 'Wiggle It' Wiggins.  The guy can ball.  Decent court vision, he can score as witnessed by the 41 he threw up against West Virginia.  Only concern here is that he doesn't have the broad shoulders that Lebron has and I'm not talking about his physical shoulders.  He just doesn't seem like he's ready to be the leader of a team and carry them to wins they don't deserve.  Lebron looked ready in high school. Wiggins may develop that, but I'd be wary if I were an NBA team.  Still clearly the best prospect in this years draft, but I think Jabari is more NBA ready.  Just another humble opinion from the Commish.

Update: Sorry to everyone who already looked at this and missed out.  Here's the link to download the song Draft Day. I had to do it for ya.

https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/142630619/download?client_id=0f8fdbbaa21a9bd18210986a7dc2d72c

Jaccpot Flies the Nest

You gotta be shittin me.  I mean I know that the last thing this burgeoning young Eagles dynasty needs is an overpaid douche running around, but I mean the guy isn't Aaron Hernandez.  Shit, he's not even Terrell Owens.  Seems like a waste of talent, definitely somebody the Chipster fell in love with last year.  It'll be sad watching him run past Eagles defenders next year like they're dummies.  Now I'm gonna post a bunch of D-Jack videos while I go cry into a bowl of cereal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9prEhmGafqM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jv5dTTYuDpk

Never Forget
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN9bDZ4ej_w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdRPB_Fe3ZI

P.S.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN TRADE HIM.  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? EVEN GANGSTERS ARE WORTH A 3RD ROUND PICK IN THE MOST LOADED DRAFT OF ALL TIME.