MLB Draft Profile: Another Gordon

We've all heard of Tom "Flash" Gordon, the outstanding relief pitcher.  We've all heard of Dee Gordon, a flash in his own right, the second baseman for the Dodgers who has 30 stolen bases this season in just 51 games.  If anyone is wondering that puts him on pace for 95 stolen bases this year.  Now if only the guy was fast...

Who you probably haven't hear is that Dee is the son of Tom Gordon (I just found that out today) and that he has another son, Dee's brother, that is the #6 overall prospect in this year's First Year Player Draft.  Just to show you where the guy's head is at, his feelings about receiving a full ride scholarship to play at Florida State next year?  That it "wouldn't be too shabby" of a place to continue his development as a man and a baseball player.  Huge dick, gotta love the guy.  There was concern about him being a skinny little bitch at 165 lbs as a junior, dude hopped into the gym and added 15 pounds of muscle over the offseason then posted this as his stat line for his senior year, .494/.576/.843 with five homers, two triples and 10 doubles in 27 games.  Boy can play a little ball, can't wait to see him shredding major league pitching.


Sorry the video is long, but I mean you get the picture.  Dude can ball.

Vikings Motto: Power Moves Only.

The guy I am most happy for, after the first round of the NFL draft, is none other than Teddy Bridgewater. Lets face it, the guy at one point was projected to be the number one overall pick in this years draft and he just so happened to be overshadowed by the phenomenon named Johnny Football. At the end of the day other top quarterback prospects, Blake Bortles and Johnny Manziel, were drafted by teams that desperately needed depth at the quarterback position ahead of Bridgewater. The Minnesota Vikings were another team with the need at quarterback, and they knew if they didn’t pounce on Teddy at some point late in the first round, another team would.

Probably the biggest move in my book was the Vikings move to trade into the first round late and select Bridgewater. If they didn’t Houston, with the first pick in round two of the draft, would of most certainty taken the guy, leaving them with Clowney and Teddy (let that sink in). But the Vikings themselves got two jems in Anthony Barr out of UCLA and eventually Teddy Bridgewater.

I am not sure who the General Manager is of the Minnesota Vikings but I envy his decision-making skills. Last Years draft, the Vikings selected 3 top prospects in the first round, one of which was Cordarrelle Patterson. 2014’s draft proved to be similar by selecting two top prospects. But back to talking about Teddy, I am happy for the guy. I truly believe Teddy maybe the most NFL ready out of the other top quarterback prospects, and with the level of talent at the quarterback position on the Vikings right now, it looks like he will start week 1. Minnesota will be a great home for the dude, after all how could you be upset with a team with Adrian Peterson on it? #BarneyPurple #nosoap

J-Pizzle Going Pro

Jabari Parker, as expected, is moving on to the NBA after one season at Duke.

Parker announced his decision Thursday in an article for Sports Illustrated.

"Ultimately, I boiled my decision down to two simple questions," Parker wrote:

"Which environment — college or the NBA — offers me the best opportunity to grow as a basketball player?

"Which environment — college or the NBA — offers me the best opportunity to grow and develop off the court?"

The answer to both questions is undeniably the NBA." - USATODAY.COM

Oh boy.  Well we've all been waiting on pins and needles for the announcement and it's finally come. Jabari Parker, one of the elite talents, and in my unbiased opinion, my favorite player on Earth is going pro.  He did it perfectly too, didn't declare too early and make it look like he couldn't wait to leave and get his money, didn't wait too long and make it look like he wasn't committed to the NBA, just waited until he made his decision and went for it.  I mean the guy has got to have a dick the size of India.  Christ, it might even be as big as China, who knows?  What I do know is that he has supreme talent, a big body, and apparently a good head on his shoulders.  Guy is gonna light up the NBA, no doubt about it.  I think I'll cry tears of joy if the Sixers draft him.

From One Hall of Famer to Another

"If Roger Staubach were on the clock with the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft, there's no doubt in his mind that he'd take quarterback Johnny Manziel over defensive end Jadeveon Clowney.

The Pro Football Hall of Famer, who was taken as a 10th round future pick in the 1964 draft by the Dallas Cowboys, thinks Manziel will have the same impact as a certain Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

"I think Manziel is a Russell Wilson-type player," Staubach said Wednesday on the NFL Network. "He doesn't have the height, (but) he has a strong arm and he throws with accuracy.

"... I just think there's something about this kid - the quickness. Today in the league, the quarterbacks can fly; we weren't allowed to do that. I think Manziel is going to be a valuable player in the NFL."

The Houston Texans have the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft, which will be held May 8-10."  - ESPN

Well if that ain't the darndest thing.  A hall of famer recognizing hall of fame talent.  Like I have tried to impress upon everyone on earth, Johnny Manziel has enormous penis.  And also an enormous amount of talent.  But mostly the penis part.  He will be good in the NFL.  While other subpar fame seeking succubuses (I'm staring directly into your soul A.J. McDouche) are making bullshit reality shows with their hot ass fiancé, Johnny is out there grinding to be the best.  The man works hard and then enjoys playing the game when he is out there.  No one ever called him a bad teammate that I'm aware of and no one said he didn't work hard.  All I've ever heard is complaints about him being a cocky dick on the football field.  Well guess what? When you're the best you can do shit like that.  Like my Momma always told me, they're just jealous Johnny, they're just jealous.