To the very few Cleveland sports fans out there; I am truly sorry. To almost everybody else on the planet; I hope you are finding a way to enjoy the soap opera that is Cleveland.
Contrary to Drew Carey's "Cleveland Rocks" quote, the Browns and Cavs have seen themselves all over the sports media world over the tiffs between the two squads' super stars. For those that haven't heard, LeBron is living in Miami and the city has been forced to look up to people like Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, and Josh Gordon to "save the city." Yes, these are three super talented athletes but apparently High School gossip is still a big part of their lives.
It all started with Dion Waiters (a former sixth man for the Syracuse Orange) demanding to be traded to a terrible team so he could be the team's number one option. After Cleveland refusing to do so, he was forced to stand in the shadow of Uncle Drew. Throughout the year, Dion has been getting more and jealous, to the point of an obvious locker room problem. A locker room problem so obvious, that Josh Gordon felt it was about time to step in and throw his two cents in.
Gordon proceeded to talk about Irvin's and Waiter's issues, and Kyrie released a statement telling Gordon to "mind his own business."
Now I am not going to get any further into this story. Why, you ask?
1.) They are acting like high school girls after about 3 shots of flavored vodka
2.) Both of these teams are completely irrelevant
3.) I like all three of these players and it makes want to put some THC in my body when I hear about childish shit like this instead of seeing them winning games, burning 23 jerseys, and helping me forget how shitty the city of Cleveland is.
Manny/Manziel, Johnny in 5 years). Philadelphia and Milwaukee will get people that will help them, but probably not the ones they really want. The poor schmuck who gets drafted 1 overall will either A.) Suck balls or B.) Lose Kyrie Irving to free agency and be stuck by himself in the most god forsaken sports city on earth. Last, but not least, Voldemort looks even more like his true self, even though he gets the last laugh because he's already in power. And just think how excited I was at the end of the last draft when I realized I never had to listen to David Stern again. Whatever, Parker is going to the Sixers and I'm buying a throwback jersey. I still win, go to hell you devil snake.
