The Sixers and Bucks are Robbed by Voldemort

Well we all knew deep down he was a villain.  You look like a villain, you're creepy like a villain, you're probably a villain.  God damn Voldemort carrying out the evils of his predecessor like a true dark lord.  I'm not even sure how this helped anybody out.  Cleveland gets the top pick for the third time in four years (rigged) with only a 1.7% chance of getting it (rigged) and they'll still somehow manage to blow their (rigged) pick yet again.  Once whoever the Cavs pick turns out to be a bust, and that's not an if people, this is Cleveland, only people with hammer dongs can affect this city in a positive way and never for long periods of time (see James, Lebron/Sabathia, CC/Lee, Cliff/Ramirez,
Manny/Manziel, Johnny in 5 years).   Philadelphia and Milwaukee will get people that will help them, but probably not the ones they really want.  The poor schmuck who gets drafted 1 overall will either A.) Suck balls or B.) Lose Kyrie Irving to free agency and be stuck by himself in the most god forsaken sports city on earth.  Last, but not least, Voldemort looks even more like his true self, even though he gets the last laugh because he's already in power.  And just think how excited I was at the end of the last draft when I realized I never had to listen to David Stern again.  Whatever, Parker is going to the Sixers and I'm buying a throwback jersey.  I still win, go to hell you devil snake.

Stank Face Bitch.

Bucks to Stay in Milwaukee

The Milwaukee Bucks will announce later Wednesday that longtime owner Herb Kohl has reached an agreement to sell the team to hedge-fund billionaires Wesley Edens and Marc Lasry for a deal valued at $550 million, according to sources familiar with the transaction. In January, Forbes valued the Bucks at $405 million, last among the league's 30 franchises. -ESPN.com

Good news for Milwaukee fans, bad news for everyone on the team.  Brandon Knight had dreams of playing in a tropical climate by the end of his contract, instead he'll be tanning in the whipping winds coming off of Lake Michigan.  In other news, it would be a total Milwaukee move to take Joel Embiid with the first pick in the draft and have him pull a Greg Oden.  Stay tuned for our NBA mock draft 1.0 and an NFL mock draft 1.0.  These will be innovate and awesome, just like everything we do.