RIP Ben Rome.

It appears this blog has lost a true veteran as Ben Rome, one of the pages founding fathers, is hanging up his cape. I personally take full responsibility for his decision as it appears the dude can’t handle a small camera smaller than his yamaka. I respect your decision Rome and you will be missed.

As a going away present I hope you and your mother enjoys these photos as she did the sample video of me passing my aunts mini van. #nosoap

Early Retirement

Friends, family, enemies, even frenemies,

This is a very emotional time for me.  I regret to inform all of you, but I have to say that I am formally resigning from this blog that I have fallen in love with.  I am not going to point any fingers, but my self confidence is just not high enough to associate my fragile name to a blog that has a gopro.  Although I do think gopros can be used to amaze our own eyes, there is just no way anybody on this site (including myself) can use that to its full potential.  Like seriously??? You passed a fucking minivan.   Even my mom made fun of that.
Any way, I have tears on my face, but all good things must end, and now is the time.  It was a fun ride and I wish all of you, and my dear friends still blogging the best.  I just can't do it.

Sincerely,
Benjamin Rome, and Montana Samuels (I'm just assuming we're on the same page with this)

Real World: GoPro.

Ladies and gentlemen Peyton Jones is the proud owner of a GoPro. Now I know some people could care less that I own this piece of technology however, it is certainly one of the coolest things I have ever owned so I am sorry for sharing my excitment with you.

The Internet is filled with awesome videos of people doing crazy things with these small cameras.  I have seen videos of girls swimming underwater in small polka dot bikinis and videos of surfer bros taking on waves I cant even imagine seeing with my two eyes.  This small camera truly is one that will be used for many things in the upcoming months so be ready America.

But for now here is a small video made by yours truly. #GoProorGoHome #nosoap

John Daly Has Gambled Away More Than $55 Million

And what did he say after he dropped that bomb on everyone? "I should say I regret it, but I did it, I move on from it, I had a lot of fun doing it."  My man. Just doing everything I wish I could do, but can't because I don't have $55 million to spend on things of that nature.  Although one time I did lose $55 on gambling, very similar circumstance.  All I can say is good for you John Daly, good for you.

NASCAR's Best Driver Finally Returns to Victory Lane...

Well the 6 time NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson has returned to victory lane. After much discussion about when he would eventually win in the 2014 season, Johnson dominated the Coca-Cola 600 Sunday night to finally claim his first checkered flag of 2014. Honestly he will probably be in victory lane more and more in the next couple of weeks.

The next couple of tracks on NASCAR’s circuit play favorite to Johnson’s racing style. These tracks include Dover, Pocono, Michigan, and Sonoma. Even though he hasn’t won at Michigan in his career, Johnson has dominated several races there in fact, in 2012 he blew his engine within the last 10 laps and had to settle for a DNF. Dover is the track where Jimmie is the all time winngest driver in NASCAR’s history and he won the last time the circuit traveled to the track.

It is safe to say it has been enjoyable to witness Jimmie Johnson go on such a losing streak over the past 11 weekends, which is the longest drought of races won by Johnson in his Hall of Fame career, but I speak for most race fans when I say I enjoy seeing the 48 car of his shy away from victory circle. #ihatethe48 #nosoap 

Pence's Stolen Scooter Returned

Well the saga comes to a close.  After days of searching and endless tax dollars put to good use the beloved Pencemobile has come home to roost.  And by that I mean some randos, probably the dudes who stole it, brought it to the park during the game the other day.  Thank the Lord.  Oh and so you scoundrels out there know, he ordered a new scooter in the meantime and I have dibs on it because he won't be needing it.  No blitz and no reload.

Thanks to sfpd for returning hunter's scooter. pic.twitter.com/rSLc4yhWLF
— Joe Day (@rocketped) May 28, 2014

Hump Day Hottie

My goodness.  Just straight heat coming at you from Claudia Dean.  You know I had to do it for ya.

50 Cent Has a Second Career as a Pitcher

Just beautiful form, spotted on a dime.  Probably lit up the radar gun at like 96-98 mph guy can do it all.

P.S.
I probably shouldn't make fun of the guy, he could start for the Mets or the Phillies right now.

Anonymous Donor Leaves Hidden Cash Around San Francisco

"An anonymous, wealthy California man is hiding up to $100 or so in public places in San Francisco and then posting clues on the money's whereabouts through his Twitter page, appropriately dubbed Hidden Cash.

The $100 bills or envelopes containing several $20 bills are amounting to $1,000-a-day philanthropy in what the Twitter account calls "an anonymous social experiment for good." " -CNN.COM

What a guy.  Some random dude just leaving hundred dollar bills laying around the Bay Area.  Actually when I think about it it's kind of a douchey thing to do.  Like, "Hey guys I literally have so much money that I have nothing better to do with it then lead you commoners on scavenger hunts around the city $100 at a time."  Whatever, I still love it.  Who wouldn't cream themselves after they found a crisp hunnit laying in a phone booth.  Who says the top 1% doesn't give back. I'd rather have someone running around doing this than giving millions of dollars to universities and other places that end up stealing poor peoples money anyway.  Good for you guy, I'm on board.

Oh yeah if you're in the Bay Area or will be visiting there soon follow @hiddencash for the clues.

Jason Garrett is a sitting duck

 

Today, Jason Garrett just realized his fate in Dallas.  He is going to miss the playoffs, and Jerry Jones is going to send his ass back to a coordinating position.
But what is so special about today, that made him realize this?
Well, today his best defensive (only respectable) player tore his ACL and will most likely miss the entire 2014 season. That's right, their captain, Sean Lee, just showed why he is the most injury prone guy in today's sport.

The Cowboys already pathetic 2013 defense became laughable after Lee was forced to the sideline with an injury, missing five games.  That, by the way, was preceded by a season where he could only physically play in six games.
Ware is gone, Lee is gone, and Garrett is the next to go.  After dodging a near firing from Jerry Jones last season, another season of missing the playoffs will surely be his end.  Garrett knows he has to make a playoff run to keep his job this year, but losing a guy like Lee makes the an ailing Tony Romo back that much weaker.
On that note, I am sorry Jason, but I am not sorry for Dallas.  Losing their red headed airhead will be nothing but a blessing.  Not to mention they can finally get a top ten pick next year.

MLB Draft Profile: Another Gordon

We've all heard of Tom "Flash" Gordon, the outstanding relief pitcher.  We've all heard of Dee Gordon, a flash in his own right, the second baseman for the Dodgers who has 30 stolen bases this season in just 51 games.  If anyone is wondering that puts him on pace for 95 stolen bases this year.  Now if only the guy was fast...

Who you probably haven't hear is that Dee is the son of Tom Gordon (I just found that out today) and that he has another son, Dee's brother, that is the #6 overall prospect in this year's First Year Player Draft.  Just to show you where the guy's head is at, his feelings about receiving a full ride scholarship to play at Florida State next year?  That it "wouldn't be too shabby" of a place to continue his development as a man and a baseball player.  Huge dick, gotta love the guy.  There was concern about him being a skinny little bitch at 165 lbs as a junior, dude hopped into the gym and added 15 pounds of muscle over the offseason then posted this as his stat line for his senior year, .494/.576/.843 with five homers, two triples and 10 doubles in 27 games.  Boy can play a little ball, can't wait to see him shredding major league pitching.


Sorry the video is long, but I mean you get the picture.  Dude can ball.

Bat Flip of the Century

God this makes me happy.  Nothing better than the feeling of hitting a bomb and then looking up to realize its basically a shallow fly ball to center field.  Samardzija just making big time moves.

What's Eating the Washington Nationals.

Well Washington sports fans we have found our selves in an all too familiar place. Today the Nationals lost their 14^th game in the month of May, and we just finished Memorial Day weekend. While most ball clubs are finding their stride at this point in the season, the Nationals are struggling.

They have not been the same team that most sport reporters claim them to be, and they have no one to blame but themselves. The Nationals have been set on a pedestal the past two seasons ever since the teams NL East-winning season in 2012. Sports Illustrated has had the Nationals winning the World Series the past two seasons in their MLB preview edition magazine and each year it has brought much excitement to fans in the DC area.

It almost seems as if last seasons struggles have found the 2014 Nationals. Stephen Strasburg has struggled in the first couple of innings and his opponents have been taking advantage of the opportunity, much like last season. When the team finds themselves in positions to win games and they need to rely on a closer to finish the job, they find a way to make a mistake. Ross Detwiler, who was moved to the bullpen this season, is the latest player to find trouble come his way.

Detwiler has blown many games as of late, but then again he isn’t the only one to point fingers at. Ian Desmond hasn’t been hitting well and the team has also been plagued with injuries left and right. Adam LaRoach and Bryce Harper are some stars to keep in mind that have found themselves on the DL as of late, and as soon as the big off season acquisition in Doug Fister comes off the DL, Gio Gonzalez finds himself on the DL list. They can’t catch a break.

 

June brings some tough series for the Nats, as they play teams like the Giants and Brewers. Luckily it’s a long season and their 25-26 record isn’t one to be complaining about but after so much pre season hype the past two seasons, it gets to be frustrating when the team doesn’t produce when all the pieces are in place to be better than a .500 ball club after Memorial Day weekend and 3rd in the NL East when the Braves seem to be losing every other game and when the Marlins are finally winning on a regular basis. #gonats #nosoap 

Josh Beckett Throws No-Hitter

Well folks bad teams do bad things.  The bobcats had an air ball free throw the year they set the record for the worst winning percentage in NBA history and the Phillies are abysmal offensively so no one should be surprised by this result.  Congrats to Josh Beckett though.  The man really battled. Had thrown 90 pitches through 6 innings and adjusted accordingly so that he could make it through the rest of the game.  Well done Beckett.

Here's the final out of Josh Beckett's 1st career no-hitter. VIDEO: http://t.co/CDMyeNbelv
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) May 25, 2014

By the way Chase Utley, let's have a better approach at the plate with the game on the line.  I mean just getting flat out beat by a 94 mph fastball without even attempting a swing just added insult to injury.

Johnny Manziel to be Sued for $25 Million

In a weird turn of events a lawsuit has been filed that seeks a restraining order and $25 million from Johnnny Football for sexual harassment.  While most sexual harassment cases need to taken very seriously, rape and sexual harassment are not things to joke about, this is obviously some crazy bullshit.  First off, Johnny Fucking Football has no need to sexually harass anybody, man can grab any puss he wants on earth.  Secondly, after reading the allegations, which repeatedly make reference to Johnny calling his own enormous penis small, I can safely say there is no possible way this was him.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, Johnny Football has a donkey dick and there's no way around that.

The suit was filed by someone going by the name Samantha Schacher.   The confusing thing about that is that Schacher is a CNN contributor and the address on the lawsuit is CNN's headquarters in Atlanta.  So it is very likely that this was some sort of pathetic joke and no one is laughing.  Here are some highlights from the lawsuit.

"Manziel told me if I don't want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he'll be Long John Silvers."

"Johnny Manziel refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage and told me good things come from small packages."

"Johnny Manziel said he Skyes [sic] with Judereon Clowney [sic] in South Carolina, and Clowney sent Manziel a Pic of is penis which was 9 inches, and Manziel showed it to me on Skype and asked me if I could handle that monster."

"Manziel sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on "It's a Small World" ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down and unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles his penis to the music."

I mean clearly just some class A horseshit.  People are always gonna come for people at the top and obviously Johnny is the top of the top.

Here's the entire suit if you care to read it.

Samantha Schacher v Johnny Manziel

This is what Johnny's lawyer has to say about this nonsense.

This joke "lawsuit" is obviously 1000000% fake and/ or frivolous. Embarrassing I even have say this after reading the nonsense.
— Erik Burkhardt (@ErikBurkhardt) May 23, 2014